I've decided to put some of my entries out on the web. My hope is that it will inspire someone else to begin taking the time to begin journaling, and will maybe give someone the structure that they need. I love journaling my walk. If I read a verse and don't write my thoughts out it passes through me like a dream, but when I write it down it becomes more solid in my daily walk. I think it is the act of involving reading, writing, and speaking (prayer) that writes the verse into my heart - the more active you can be, the deeper the impression.
These entries are pulled directly from my latest study journal (my old one is still back in Wenatchee), so they are pictures into where my walk was at that date, and what God shared with my soul. My idea is to just put somewhere around 5 entries online at a time, so here goes:
Date: 12-11-12
S: Mark 14:36: "Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."
O: Jesus knew what was coming. He prayed that God would spare him the pain, but he did not waiver in his obedience.
A: What is in it for me? Far too often that is where my thoughts go. I place up my hand and choose to tell God, "That's far enough." God does not promise earthly comforts or wealth. By placing my own interests first I place myself first - I am the sinner.
P: Father, I am selfish - I am short sighted - I am the sinner. Please forgive me - please use me for your Plan. I place my hope and trust in the Lord God Almighty. Who was, and is, and is to come. May your kingdom reign and your will be done. - Amen
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Date: 12-12-12
S: Mark 14:64-65: "You have heard the blasphemy. What do you think?" They all condemned him as worthy of death. Then some began to spit at him; they blindfolded him, struck him with their fists, and said, "Prophesy!" And the guards took him and beat him.
O: And so begins the greatest act of Love.
A: I am those fists. I am those hateful shouts. Nothing I can ever do can take that away. Yet, because of this incomprehensible love I am forgiven. The weight of grace is fare too light in my life. My actions do not reflect the cost paid for me to be a son.
P: Lord, I pray that my life, my energy, and my legacy would reflect the price paid. My life was not free, and for me to hold that it was freely bought is another slap to your son's face. Let my heart turn to you. May my body be yours. I ask you to move in me and transform me as you will. - Amen
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Date: 12-13-12
S: Mark 14:71: He began to call down curses on himself, and he swore to them, "I don't know this man you are talking about."
O: Despite his oaths and confidence, Peter turned on his lord when fear overtook him. But Jesus and God did not falter in their Love for Peter.
A: I constantly fail - and I try to fix it. God knows me better than I know myself (because I lie to myself constantly). He does not expect me to come to Him perfected. He has me flawed and He will make me perfect in His perfect way.
P: Lord, I have denied you more times than I can count. Yet you love me. You have not denied me. I pray for strength to stand firm on your rock. I thank you for grace incomprehensible. - Amen
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Date: 12-16-12
S: Mark 15-15: Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas to them. He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.
O: Pilate knew Jesus was innocent, but he gave into the Jewish leaders to pacify them.
A: I have chosen to do what I know to be wrong in order to satisfy others. I have given into pressures and perceived pressures instead of acting in a way that I know to be right. Being a coward is often easier than being brave.
P: Father, I am the sinner. I have pushed your voice down so I could do wrong. I pray for your forgiveness and thank you for the grace you offer. I am truly not worthy - yet you love me. I pray for transformation from a being of fear to one of light and courage - shaped in your likeness. - Amen
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Date: 12-23-12
S: 1 Corinthians 3:21-23: So then, no more boasting about men! All things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future - all are yours, and you are of Christ, an Christ is of God.
O: Paul urged the Corinthians to remove all items that caused division. The world, life, death, present or future - all are unknowns that we use to put others down, and build ourselves up. Paul says that we are all level in Christ, as we are all children with God's inheritance.
A: As God's child I need to worry less about my situation, and worry more about my brothers and sisters. The God of all has called me to Him! That is all I should ever boast of.
P: Father, forgive me for the pride and division that come so easily. Help me to see with new eyes - to hear with open ears. To pour my energies out instead of in. Your love, your plan, is more than I could ever hope for. Please do not let me forget. - Amen
Date: 12-26-12
S: 1 Cor: 4:4: My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.
O: Paul tells us that though he is forgiven he is not innocent before the Lord. He also reminds us that our opinion of ourselves is not relevant - only God is the judge of all.
A: My sins are forgiven only by grace. I cannot "good" them away. I must remember that I am not a judge and I don't get to say a thing about eternal affairs because I am not qualified to run my own life. Humility needs to be a constant focus.
P: Father, I praise you for grace undeserved. Thank you for forgiveness. Please help me to remember that I am free because of you. Because you chose to take my place. I am only alive when I die into you. Please help me to chose your life every day. - Amen
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