Easter

If you haven't watched the video - please do so before reading this entry.  It puts it into words much better than I will.

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Today is the day - this is the one that our faith hinges on.  We spend more time on other holidays; Christmas, Thanksgiving, the 4th of July, even Halloween, but this is the day that truly matters.  Without today we would have no Christmas - the others don't even register on the radar when it comes down to importance, but they get a larger slice of our attention.  Maybe its because this is a holiday that is difficult to commercialize (I mean, how far can you really push the bunny thing?).  Maybe its because of the brutality that leads up to this day.  Maybe there is a certain level of guilt because we know that our sins are why this had to happen; we get a historical picture of the wages of our sins.

I don't have an answer for why we give so little attention to Easter.  I just know that I need to change that in my heart.  Today is the day.  Today is the day that my soul was bought.  Today is the day that freedom came to this world.

For the Maker is your husband -

  the Lord Almighty is his name -

              the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;

        he is called the God of all the earth.

Isaiah 54:5

 

We are his bride. 

Think about that image for a second.  If you are married, think about your wedding day; think about the anticipation you felt, think about the awe that you experienced.  Is that how you think of Jesus?

He is our bridegroom.  He loves us more dearly than we can imagine.  He placed himself in front of our deaths.  He washed us clean and purified us with a love that we cannot understand.  He loves us with a passion and power beyond description, and far too often, we return love at our convenience - if at all.

We are thankful for his sacrifice.  We are grateful that he died in our place.  We are glad it was him and not us who went through that horrific experience.  But, if we are honest with ourselves (again, much harder than it should be), very few of us love him with the passion of a bride.

Recently, I have had these moments where I am hit by the power of His love.  A song will come on or I will have a thought, and I will be suddenly overwhelmed; my heart catches and tears fill my eyes because I see that He loves me more deeply than I understand to be possible.  These moments are beautiful - they are what I hope eternity will be.  To be in the presence of Love, forever adoring the One who loves us more purely and deeply than we can fathom ...

My prayer is that I move into love.  My heart longs to be in a place where I am in a state of anticipation to be united with the one who loves me perfectly.

Today is the day - the day when our bridegroom was crowned the King.

Holy Holy,
Holy Holy,
Holy Holy,
Is the Lord Almighty

Embracing Doubt

Those who say that they believe in God and yet neither love nor fear him, do not in fact believe in him, but in those who have taught them that God exists.  Those who believe that they believe in God, but without passion in their heart, any anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in the God-idea, not in God.
    - Miguel de Unamuno c/o Rumors of God

(Job speaking to God)
"You asked me, 'Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?'
It is I - and I was talking about things I knew nothing about, things far too wonderful for me."
    - Job 42:3

This has been another week of the same theme coming at me from multiple angles.  I'm learning to pay attention.

Several years ago I went through a spiritual struggle.  I walked away from the church.  I walked away from any semblance of a relationship with God.  I looked in my heart and concluded that I did not believe in God.  I believed that god was created by man as a way to explain the unexplainable in the world.

This did not come out of the blue, but was a slow drip that drained my spirit.  Before this happened I tried to be spiritual.  I tried to pray, but nothing happened.  I tried to be involved in the right groups, but felt like a hypocrite.  When I prayed I would talk and talk at God, and as far as I could tell, nothing was happening.  I was discouraged and annoyed.  I doubted God's power, his goodness, his willingness or ability to work in my little world.  Then, very slowly, I began to realize that I may have never really believed in God, but instead had believed in the idea of God.  I realized that I did not want to believe in an impotent, weakling god - yet this is exactly the god that I had constructed in my heart.  I did not worship this god, I didn't even respect it.  So I walked away.

Several years later, I felt a tug at my heart.  A whisper in my soul beckoning me.  For the first time in years I prayed - I asked God to make Himself known to me.  I asked God to tear down the false idol in my god-place and begin to reveal Himself to me.  This prayer set my spirit on a journey that has rocked me to my core - it has changed everything.  The God of the Universe, the great I AM has replaced the flaccid unrespectable deity that once loomed so large in my life.

Paul advised the Philippians to:

... continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
    - Philippians 2:12-13

Most of us treat God casually - the casual prayer thrown up right before a meal or as we drift off to sleep, well intended promises to read our Bible tomorrow (a promise we have no intention of keeping), thoughts about serving those in need ... someday.  God is not feared, God is not honored - we acknowledge Him with our lips, but most often our belief goes no deeper.  How can we claim that we truly believe in a God who literally spoke the Universe into motion, when we doubt that this same God has the ability to act in our lives?

Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you.

God - works in you.

The God that spoke and there was light.  The God that wrote the Law that you broke.  The God who is the only authority.  The one who is I AM. 

God - works in you.

If you do not fear God, I encourage you to look at what you think you know of God.  Is your god dangerous?  Is your god powerful beyond understanding?  If you approach your god without uncertainty, without anguish, without reverence and an understanding that you do not deserve to be heard by Him, if you approach your god without love for Him because he is, then you probably need to begin wrestling with your faith. 

When I first started to question my belief in God I believed I was doomed.  I believed that there was no room for doubt in a Christian's life - doubt was what those on the path to hell do.  However, as I went through this process I began to see it in a different way: I began to understand that doubt is healthy and necessary.  I realized that doubt is better than certainty because when we doubt we are open to seeing something new, whereas when we are certain we do not look for answers because we already know them.  The road of doubt was actually the road to life.

The working out of our salivations is not an easy process, nor is it comfortable.  We have to learn to die unto ourselves.  We have to come to the point where we approach the throne of grace with fear and trembling because we understand that we are not worthy.  We have to come to a place where we accept that we are accepted not because of anything we have done, but because God made a way for us to be in relation with Him.  We have to realize that we will never understand Him - He is beyond us on every level, yet he loves us more ferociously than we can understand.  For some reason, this God of power and beauty has claimed us as His children.

My prayer is that God uses this to shake some faiths loose from the grip of comfort - that He begins to reveal himself to you in ways that you did not think possible.  My prayer is that your certainty is dislodged and that you voice your doubts to God (you cannot hurt his feelings - plus, he already knows what you are thinking).  My prayer is that we start being honest with ourselves regarding our faith, and thereby create room for God to reveal Himself to us.  My prayer is that every one of us sees God for who He is instead of what we make him to be.

What's in a Name?

You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
  - John 14:14

I have been mulling over how to approach prayer as a topic, which is probably good since prayer is something that should be mulled over much more often than it is.  Prayer is one of our links to the Creator who allows us to call Him "Father".  It is not the only link, but it is a very important one and should receive more attention than we generally give it.

Recently, I heard someone say that they no longer believed in God because He did not answer a prayer in the way they wanted.  This is not the first time I've heard this, and so I began really thinking about prayer and our expectations. The people I've talked to believed that God did not care for them because they prayed for something and the result did not come out the way they wanted.  They used the above verse as proof that God does not keep His word.  My guess is that more than a few shaky walks have crumbled because a prayer was not answered.  If God isn't going to give us what we want why should we even bother?

I want to take a different look at this verse because I see a great deal of promise in it, but also a much larger challenge.  The first is to look at the verses leading up to this one:

Jesus answered: "Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father.  How can you say, 'Show us the Father'? The words I say to you are not just my own.  Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work.  Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves.  I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing.  He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.  And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.  You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."
  - John 14:9-14

When we pray, are we doing the work of the Father, or are we praying for our own gain?  Do we demonstrate our faith in Jesus by doing what he did on earth, or are we working the angles so that the final outcome is our comfort and happiness?  What does it even look like to pray like a true follower of Christ?

When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
  - James 4:3

In my own walk, I've found that I have a difficult time turning away from my wants.  I live in the prism of me, so my entire perception of the world is skewed to the single viewpoint through which I view it.  From this vantage point it makes perfect sense that my prayers should be directed back toward my own happiness.  However, this is not the example set by Jesus.  Jesus placed others first, and above all, he submitted himself to the Father's will.

Do you think Jesus the man wanted to die the way he did?  He knew what was coming (he even asked that the cup be taken from him) yet he submitted to the Father's will and paid the horrific price for our freedom.  Even as he was being suffocated on the cross his prayer was for those around him.

Contrast that to your prayer life.  Are you submitting yourself to the Father's will?  Are you seeking His guidance for your life?  Or are you, like I usually am, treating God like a haloed-Santa in the sky?  Do you spend time talking with God, listening to Him, and striving to be more like Him, or do you swing your spirit into the Drive-Through of Soul just long enough to toss out your order before you go back to life?

 

 

 

There has been one time in my life when I prayed fully in the Spirit and knew without a doubt that my prayer would be answered.  There was something different about the prayer, and about my spirit in that moment: in that moment I felt a peace and power that I did not understand; it was greater, deeper, and more peaceful than anything I'd imagined possible.  But, as soon as the moment was gone I congratulated myself on the prayer.  I allowed myself to become proud of how holy I was for that second in time.  I turned the prism back on to me and my focus moved away from God.

When Jesus taught us to pray he gave us what we now call the Lord's prayer.

Our Father, who is in Heaven; Holy is your name.  Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.  Give us this day, our daily bread (physical and spiritual), and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.  Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.  For Yours is the Kingdom, Yours is the Power, Yours is the Glory - Forever.

Look at the structure of this prayer - who did Jesus place first?  Who's will did he place first?  Did he ask for comfort and blessings?  No, he asked for daily bread and then forgiveness.  He directed his prayer to the glory of the Father.  He turned away from himself and gave glory where glory was due.

How much more impactful would your prayer walk be if you stopped worrying about yourself and gave that time to worshiping God?  Isn't that what we are hoping for at the end of all things: the chance to be in the presence of God and sing his praises?

My prayer is that each of us turn our gaze away from ourselves, and instead turn it to the one worthy of all praise.  I am confident that if we spent our energy worshiping Him, asking for His guidance, and praying for His will, our prayers would be much more impactful in this world in need of Him.

I am going to close today's post with another quote from my favorite author, Mr. C.S. Lewis.  This quote has challenged my perception of Jesus more than any other because it is so simple, yet so profound.

“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”  

We want Jesus to be a tame lion, we want God to be safe, we want a kitten where we have a lion.  We want Him to answer our prayer because we say it is in Jesus name, but we do not really pray in his name - we only use it as a bargaining chip. 

Jesus is not safe, he is not tame, he is not to be used as a bargaining chip, he did not come here and die so you could use him as a genie.  God spoke and there was light.  God does not cater to us.  He is entirely complete without you and without me.

But he is good.  He is the King.  Seek and you shall find, ask and the door shall be opened to you.  If we direct our attention to Him, our prayers will no longer look toward our own comforts.  Instead of our own wills, we will seek that His will be done on earth as it is done in Heaven.  Once we move beyond praying for selfish reasons; we will begin to enter into the prayer that He has for us.  Then we will begin to understand what he meant when he said:

And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.  You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.