Shifting the Focus

Late last week I heard something by Timothy Keller that made me re-think my approach to my search for the God-sized dream for my life.  He referenced Romans 12, which is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible, but he put it in a way that I'd never considered.

Romans 12:2  Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I've always focused on the first section of the verse regarding the conforming to the world - it sounds good and it keeps the control firmly where I like it ... in my hands.  But on Thursday I realized that I was looking for hope and direction in the wrong place.  The key and focus for my dream is in the middle of the verse.

(B)e transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is ...

I've been going about finding my dream the wrong way ... my way.  Mr. Keller said that our job is to allow God to transform our minds, and then we won't have to wonder what the plan is - we will be able to know what it is.  My focus has been on ME - how am I going to define my dream?  When will God approve of my dream for how I will serve Him?  I've been thinking like God actually needs me to do anything for Him.  When all along it's been me needing Him to do everything for me.

 

I need to direct my energy, prayer, devotions, and walk to being transformed - on letting go of my ego and control and giving myself over to God.  Let Him do the molding and transforming and I won't have to wonder what my dream should be.  Instead of focusing on some vague dream in the future I need to focus on looking for the transformational opportunities in front of me today.  Growth does not happen in the future, but in the moments that are constantly passing before me.

I am such a fool.  My arrogance is astounding - that I would presume to think that the God of the universe would be waiting on me to come up with a dream that would somehow impact His kingdom in a way that only I could do.

Thank goodness He is a god of grace.  The more I learn about Him, the more I realize how very badly I need grace and how undeserving of it I am.

Redirecting Prayer

"For if he ever comes to make the distinction, if he ever consciously directs his prayers 'Not to what I think thou art but to what thou knowest thyself to be', our situation is, for the moment, desperate.  Once all his thoughts and images have been flung aside or, if retained, retained with a full recognition of the merely subjective nature, and the man trusts himself to the completely, real, external, invisible Presence, there with him in the room and never knowable by him as he is known by it - why, then it is that the incalculable may occur.  In avoiding this situation - the real nakedness of the soul in prayer - you will be helped by the fact that the humans themselves do not desire it as much as they suppose."
   -- C.S. Lewis; The Screwtape Letters

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God is God.  He is I Am.  He is beyond our capacity to understand - yet, we place Him in our box to serve our needs.  We claim to understand His ways.  We claim to have authority and knowledge of how he molded the universe.  We continually claim to be reaching for God, yet often re-enact the part of Lucifer.  We, as C.S. Lewis said, avoid the real nakedness of soul prayer and instead of prostrating ourselves before the Creator of All, we offer our wish list to a self-created deity.

I have been working on opening myself up - on admitting that I cannot through the force of my effort pray to God as He is because I cannot grasp Him.  I work to acknowledge that He is beyond me - He is greater than my thoughts can comprehend.  He has no need of me - He is beyond complete.  My services are not needed by Him.  I am not a necessity. 

Yet, for some reason, He loves me.  He wants me to be naked before Him because in this nakedness, I am closer to what He wishes for me than when I attempt to be that on my own.  For reasons that only He can understand, He made Himself weak.  He subjugated himself to ridicule and pain so that we might have a chance to know Him.  His love for each of us is beyond us.  It is a love that surpasses our understanding.

I cling to this Love.  I cling to the hope that I will be allowed to praise Him for Him for eternity.  I am coming to realize that He is worthy of my praise, not because of what He did, but because He is.  Greatness beyond measure.  Power beyond thought. 

He is I Am - Hallelujah!!

Upgrading My Dream

"If your vision is not intimidating to you, it is probably insulting to God" - Stephen Furtick

I have been wrestling with the idea of a God-sized dream for my life.  I even struggle with the concept of a God-sized dream.  What is a God-sized dream and how do I go about creating one?

My life outlook and approach has been that of pragmatism.  I hate failure, so I tend to set my goals well within the realm of achievable, and thus probably well short of where they should be set.  Instead of aiming for the bull's eye; I change my goal to just hitting the target, and there bye reduce, or even better eliminate, the possibility of failure.  I move from a dream, to a strategy, to a tick-mark, and then work to convince myself that I am moving along nicely.  Safety over risk; Comfort over adventure; Security over the Unknown.  Trust in myself over trust in God.

To know that He is able to do all things is much easier than trusting that He will do those things in my life.  To hold onto the comforts around me is much easier than opening up to the possibility that my comfort is not a priority in His plan.  It has come to a point where I start throwing road blocks up before I even allow a vision to form.  It is easier to shoot holes in the floor boards of a boat and stay on shore than it is to get out into the water and risk a storm.

My prayer is that I have the courage to let go.  This morning I prayed that He give us a revelation for our lives.  I place our direction, security, and comforts in His plan and trust that He will provide for our needs.  I release my grip on comfort and my perceived safety for the fullness that He can bring to our family.

 

I am tired of being insulting to God.  I am terrified of what His plan may be for us, but I would rather move fearfully toward obedience and life than cling to the comforts of lifelessness.  I am hopeful that He will give me the dream that I have been too afraid to allow.  I am hopeful that His dream for this family will put us on a path that is more full of life, adventure, and rewards than anything that our path of safety could ever accomplish.

First Step

I guess like all new ventures I should begin by creating a mission statement and cast my vision for what I hope to accomplish.  I understand that there are millions of people blogging, so this is not something new in this world, but for me it is a challenge to put my thoughts, dreams, struggles and walk in a place where it is open to the world.

My hope is that through this I am able to grow toward my Lord, and maybe through my walk bless some other men who are striving to place their lives directly in the path of Love.

I plan on exploring Bible verses, excerpts from writers, and my own in sites; with the focus on becoming less selfish and living a life that is based on serving instead of convenience.  I want to learn how to become the husband and father that I was designed to be.  I want to learn how to embrace the role of leader in my community.

My prayer is that the Lord uses this to shape my walk and push me outside of my comfort zones.  I know that there have been opportunities that He has placed before me that I have let pass by out of fear.  I am tired of being afraid.  I am tired of letting the Lord's call go unanswered in hopes that He move onto someone else.  I am tired of complacency and mediocrity.

Psalm 18:30-35
As for God, his way is perfect;
   the word of the Lord is flawless.
He is a shield
   for all who take refuge in him
For who is God besides the Lord?
   And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength
   and makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
   he enables me to stand on the heights.
He trains my hands for battle;
   my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You give me your shield of victory,
   and your right hand sustains me;
   you stoop down to make me great.