Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself ...
-- Ephesians 5:25-33
What does it mean to love as Christ loved the church? How different is the love that we offer compared to this kind of love?
Jesus died for us. His death was the single greatest act of love. He went into pain so that we might find life. He lead, he taught, he nurtured and lifted up. He gave utterly of himself with no expectation of receiving in return. He loved completely and perfectly. That is how we are called to love.
It is much easier to receive than it is to give. It is easy to go through life waiting for your next payment, for (insert object of your desire) because you deserve it. It is easy to resent those who do not recognize the fact that you are due your reward for whatever it is you believe you have done. This is especially easy to do in the confines of marriage. Needs go unspoken, unheard, and unacknowledged until the ground is burnt and walls are built.
Husbands, you are called to love your wives as Christ loved the church. You are called to give yourself completely for the betterment of your wife - unto your death. You are called to lift her up in all that you do. You are called to love. Love is not a feeling, but a choice. It is the act of placing another first in all that you do. It is the act of sacrificing comfort for life. You are called to place her in front of your own interests in all things. You are called to present her to yourself as a radiant body - holy and pleasing.
I am going to come back to this verse over and over again because it is a pivotal verse in my life. When we discussed this in pre-marital counseling I realized how much responsibility was on me to make this marriage work. That without my making the choice to love my wife every day there was nothing that could make the marriage work. In his discussion of marriage, Paul dedicates three times as many words for the husband as he does for the wife. This is not to say that the wife does not have a difficult task (she has to honor and respect us - not easy at all), but everything hinges on the husband living up to his end of the bargain.
God has blessed me with an amazing man!
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