The Slow Pitch

I've been doing a daily trip through the Psalms.  The Psalms are the Bible's book of prayer, and prayer is something that is certainly lacking in my life.  Thus, the study into the Psalms.

The last three days have been especially busy, and so I was not able to get to my study those mornings.  Today I decided that I needed to catch up and do all three days worth of study in one swoop.  My method is I am reading three Psalms a day in 50 Pslam increments (1, 51, 101) - then I am journaling on the verse or verses that really catch my eye that day.  I am using the SOAP method, so each journal entry has a Scripture, Observation, Application, and Prayer - I've found this the most impactful method for my studies, and have been using it for years.

I figured doing three (9 Psalms) at once would be a bit of a pain, but I'd knock it out and get on with the day.  I did day one completely through before I moved onto day two, so my journal entries went after I read the day's three verses - then after my entry was in, I moved onto the next set of verses.

Here is how the morning went:

Scripture #1:

Save me, O God,

for the flood waters are up to my neck.

Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire;

I can't find a foothold.

I am in deep water,

and the floods overwhelm me.

-- Psalm 69:1-2

This is a cry from David, and is much more eloquent than anything I can do, but I recognize the feeling.

Life has a way of surrounding us, pulling us in, and making us feel very stuck.  If we somehow manage to get one foot out, we have to put it down again, and we get sucked right back down into the slop.

The thing about this verse that caught me is David's intimacy with God.  I know that God will hear my troubles, but I often feel like my bringing my troubles to Him is selfish and not where my prayers should be centered.  Instead of bringing my frustrations to Him, I stuff then down and try to handle things on my own.  I send up prayers that sound holier, and come from a sincere place of wanting to be better, but come at the expense of my actual heart cry.  During today's writing I realized that this really comes from a lack of faith: lack of faith in the depth of His love, and a lack of faith in my full adoption as a son.

Scripture #2:

I took my troubles to the Lord;

I cried out to him and he answered my prayer.

How I suffer in far-off Meshech.

It pains me to live in distant Kedar

- Psalm 120:1 and 5

Psalm 120 is a song for the pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem.  I actually laughed when I read this because I instantly read "Kedar" as "Kedarado" ... 

"Suffering" feels like too strong a word, but it does pain me to be here.  Nearly everything has been more challenging since we pulled into town: cars, money, weather, work, church, friends, family ... that about covers it.  But the first section of my verse study promises something wonderful:

He will hear me and He will answer my prayer.

Here is my prayer written in my journal entry:

Lord, I miss Washington.  I miss the Pacific. I miss family.  This land is hard.  It is lonely and challenging.  Work is hard - it feels futile.  Yet, I know you are with me.  You are doing things in our life that will bless us and, more importantly, others.  I trust you O God.  My hope is in you and not my circumstances.

Scripture #3:

I look up to the mountains - 

does my help come from there?

My help comes from the Lord

who made heaven and earth!

The Lord himself watches over you!

The Lord stands beside you as you protective shade.

- Psalm 121: 1-2 and 5

This verse tied everything together.  Three verses in the same day about the presence and protection of the Lord.  The first spoke to the feeling of being stuck, and let me see that my lack of faith lies behind me not giving those over.  The second spoke to the pain and difficulty of distance.  Because of the first verse I was able to simply state what has been on my heart and mind for 15 months, and because I was able to state it; I was able to lay it down.  The third verse spoke to the shelter and protection of the Lord.

The mire, the waves, and the distance are all hard to deal with.  My work is always going to be difficult.  But I have comfort in the presence of God.  He is always here.  He is always working on me.  He is my protective shade.  He shaped the heavens and the earth, and he has adopted me as his child.  If God is for me who can stand against me that I should fear?

And that was my study this morning.  From acknowledging my lack of faith, to putting voice to my fears, frustrations, and worries, to comfort in the promises of my all-powerful father.

Good stuff.  God is good all of the time - all of the time God is good.